389 Days

389 days.  Three.hundred.eighty.nine.days.  That is how long my breastfeeding journey was.  That's 2,680+ feedings = 30 days straight = 737+ hours = 44,271 minutes.  Yeah, I kept track.  Cause I'm cool like that.

I went in to the idea of breastfeeding very casually.  I was very we'll-see-how-it-goes about my whole pregnancy/parenting experience.  I just had general guidelines that I wanted to follow but didn't have any hard feelings if things deviated from the plan.  Because as much as I would like to think so, I'm not really in charge of the whole pregnancy-baby-breastfeeding thing.  My body and baby will do what they want to do.   Trust me, if I was in charge, I would have skipped over the whole gaining 70+ pounds, swelling like crazy, and stretch mark thing.  I was not the boss.  Motherhood was just my job and *toot my own horn here* I rock at it.

Initially, I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to successfully breastfeed.  I think that's a big reason why I didn't go into it with my heart set on it.  I prefer to go into things with low-expectations so that I'm only pleasantly surprised when things go my way.  Thomas calls it pessimism, I call it realistic.  What's more, both my mom and my sister had a very difficult time with breastfeeding and inevitably had to go with formula.  I was afraid that this was just something that Morris women had trouble with.  But when my little monster was born last year, I knew that I at least wanted to try breastfeeding for several reasons.

1) The whole- it's good for the baby thing.  With a doctor for a husband, it was a no-brainer for him that breastfeeding was a must.  And while I agreed with him, I also didn't see a problem with using formula.  After all, I was a formula fed baby and I'm healthy, educated, and happy.

2) I'm home anyway.  There are so many moms out there that do not have the luxury of being at home with their babies.  I am very lucky that I am a work-at-home-stay-at-home mom.  Until my boy was crawling he was being held in one arm while I typed away with the other.  I could take breaks whenever I needed to change a diaper, take a shower while he napped (which unfortunately was rare), and nurse whenever and however often the kid requested.  I know a lot of moms that nurse for a few months before switching to formula or go straight to formula because they go back to work.  I thought that if I could do it, I would be crazy not to try to take advantage of the opportunity.

3) Saving mucho dinero.  Despite what many people may think- we do not have a lot of money.  Being married to a doctor does not equal having an awesome bank account- especially when said doctor is a resident and comes with student loans.  Like, a lot of them.  Don't get me wrong, we're not living like we did in college anymore.  We don't eat ramen every night and have crates for furniture (although we probably would if it were up to Thomas),  but we have a very strict budget.  With a mortgage, car payment (newly acquired for the need for a mommy-mobile), student loans, putting money in savings, etc we didn't have a lot of room in our budget for $70+ week for formula.  I could have made it work- but my stubborn self wasn't sure that I wanted to.  Saving money was probably the biggest perk for me which is why we also opted for cloth diapers (more on that here).

Luckily, when the little sprout came- there were no major problems.  I did experience a few initial frustrating nights in the hospital.  After all, I was a beginner and so was Mason.  He got 'frenzied' which resulted in lots of tears and frustration- on both sides.  Fortunately for us, after my milk came in after about a week, we were both pros.

Along with breastfeeding full-time came other issues: engorgment, clogged ducts, limiting my time to myself, having to excuse myself to feed the kid in private, etc.  I spent lots of nights in a hot bath trying to alleviate pain from clogged ducts- those were not my favorite but were a common occurrence, especially when the boy was going thru a growth spurt.  I also had a kid that was easily distracted.  He demanded a quiet space free of covers which meant that I always had to nurse in private at home or excuse myself so that I could nurse in the backseat of our car.  I saw a woman at Target the other day who had a baby strapped to her chest nursing while she was shopping.  I was so jealous!  When Mase wanted to eat, I had to stop everything that I was doing and maybe get back to it later.

Other perks of breastfeeding:

1) I was allowed to eat!  I didn't have any pressure to get back to my pre-baby body.  While I did hit over 212 pounds (I stopped weighing myself after that), I didn't have anyone pushing me to lose the weight except for myself and even I just sort of went with it.  Breastfeeding meant no extreme diets because I needed to get in enough calories to make quality milk.  What's awesome, is that even though I wasn't being super careful about what I was eating- I was still losing.  It took me almost 10 months to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight- but I believe that '9 months on -  9 months off' is a healthy guideline that worked for me.

2) Bonding time.  I loved our time together.  I had a special spot in our bedroom that became our designated eating space.  I had my big comfy chair, a Boppy, and that was it.  Mason could eat and I could relax.  That was really my only time in my day where I could unwind.

Now that our breastfeeding journey is over- a whole new world has opened up for us.  While I will miss having those moments with my boy, I am so very grateful that I was able to do it.